


I told you that I need you

by Badass_iero



Category: Castiel - Fandom, SPN, Supernatural, destiel - Fandom, winchester brothers - Fandom, winchesters - Fandom
Genre: F/F, M/M, indie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 01:18:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9795932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Badass_iero/pseuds/Badass_iero
Summary: A tale of two brothers who were four years apart, but couldn't be any closer.Title taken from 1234 by Colony House.Au in which John misses Mary after her death, and wants to honor her, so he doesn't pack up and leave Lawrence, but stays, and raises the boys, still to hunt, but only on weekends cause they need to stay in school, also Mary's honor, and their hunts are within a few states range."Got your blade?""Always.""Good boy."





	

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't done, so if you liked it, let me know where you would like to see it go, I am all ears to suggestions/requests!

"Got your blade?"   
"Always."   
"Good boy."  
"See you at lunch" Sam says.  
"See ya Sammy" I reply. 

We walk across the grass, him going to the junior high that is across the field from my high school. 

I like it that way, so I can be a jog away from him at all times. 

Sam is great, greater than any little brother I could ask for. He's never annoying, he's fun, always supportive of me, and I'm not embarrassed to be with him like normal teenagers are with their younger siblings. 

I make it into the doors, among the sea of peers that half think I'm badass and the other half think I'm a douchebag, and I couldn't care either way. 

I wink at the cute blonde girl who's name I still don't know, but walk past and let my eyes stick on the new kid, Lucas, or Cas as he's asked to be called. 

He caught my attention on the very first day, he was cute, artsy and quiet. 

I let my reputation do the talking for me, and don't bother to say a word to him, but one day I'll get the nerve to say something to him. 

Through class I doze off, hum Zeppelin, and boredly sketch a few rugaru. 

My dad texts me through class about the case he is on and the demon he is hunting, because he wants to keep me updated, and he could care less if I get an education, he just wants me close to Sammy. Watch out for Sammy. 

Lunch comes around the same time every day, and it finds me and Sam at the same bench under the same tree every day, talking and eating like we do every day. 

"One more year till you go from that hell hole..." I say and point to his junior high "to this hell hole" I finish and point to my school. 

Sam shrugs, "I don't know, I enjoy school, Dean." 

"Nerd"   
"Dick"  
"Jerk"  
"Bitch"  
"Eat your salad you freak" I joke and toss my balled up napkin at him. 

"Sorry am I interrupting something?" A voice asks from an earshot away. 

I turn around swiftly and see Cas, and my radar goes down but my heartbeat goes way up. 

His smile is so bright it could light up the night. 

Dad would kill me if he knew I was into guys. 

"No, we're just having lunch" Sam says easily. 

"Well I'm new, obviously, and everyone has looked at me like I have a third eye, except you, and you seem nice despite what I've heard, so I wanted to know if I could eat with you?" Cas says softly, and I can't quite handle the way his glasses slide down his nose of the way a loose strand of his hair falls on his forehead, like Clark Kent, but cuter. 

"No doubt you've heard bad things, but I only douche back to douchebags" I manage to say, and he promptly sits. 

"Sam, meet Cas, the new kid, Cas, meet Sam, my brother who goes to the junior high" I say and they both exchange a wave. 

"I'm a sophomore" Cas says. 

"Junior" I reply. 

"I'll be a freshman next year" Sam adds. 

"So how do you guys get along so well, I mean all the other kids are embarrassed of their siblings, but you seem close?" Cas asks as he eats some sort of sandwich. 

"Just, family is important to us" I reply and he nods. 

"So did you just move here?" Sam asks him. 

"Yeah" is all he replies, and I shoot Sam a look to leave it at that, cause he clearly doesn't want to discuss. 

\--------

"Thank you for letting me join you" Cas says as the bell rings and we all clean up our things. 

"Anytime" Sam and I both reply. 

"Bye Sammy, be safe" I say and send him back to class, making sure he makes it in the doors before going back to my classes. 

"Be safe from what?" Cas asks as he walks with me. 

"Anything and everything. The world is a scary place my friend" I say. 

"Interesting. Hey what are you doing tonight?" He asks. 

"Probably whipping Sammy's ass at poker and hanging out with my dad" I reply, hesitantly waiting for what he's going to say next without looking desperate. 

"Would you wanna go do something tonight? again, I'm new, I have no idea what to do around this place" he gestures around himself. 

The way his eyes say something more is just what convinces me the most. 

"Sure. Do you have a car or do you need a ride?" I ask.

"Definitely need a ride, thanks" he says. 

I grab a pen from my backpack and write down my number on some homework from last week that has a decent grade on it   
"Let me know where to pick you up" I say and hand him the paper before I spin around and go into my next classroom without another word, just as the bell rings, and I smirk to myself because I bet I looked so cool doing that, aaaand I just gave him my number. 

Cas doesn't even waste time, as soon as the period starts he texts me, and I am absolutely captivated by how interesting he is for the rest of the day. 

I pick up Sam from school, all his friends stare at me in awe while his bullies stare at me in fear... like they should. 

"How was your day?" He asks me. 

"Talked to dad about the demon he's hunting, he said it's complicated... Gave Cas my number and we talked all day, just about random stuff y'know. He asked me to show him around town tonight, so you fine staying home for a few hours by yourself? I'll cook you something before I go" I say. 

"Yeah I'll be fine, I have tons of homework that I'll take care of. I hope dad is alright, and that's cool that you are gonna show Cas around, he seemed nice at lunch today... But where exactly are you going to show him around? Lawrence isn't particularly interesting, Dean" Sam asks. 

"I'm not really sure man, but I'll see what I can find" I say, and we both hop into our dad's Impala. 

"I'm so glad he's been taking the van for hunts these past few months, cause taking that to school is embarrassing" Sam says and I smile a little. 

"Pick a tape any tape" I say and gesture towards the box of tapes. 

Sam shuffles through and picks Def Leppard, and I smile a little again cause he's such a cultured and mature little brother. 

\-----------

 

"Is this... your car?" Cas asks as soon as I pull up. 

"Well it's my dad's but he never uses it, so more or less, yes, she's mine" I reply and lean over the seat to open the door for him. 

"So where to?" I ask him.

"I just moved here, how should I know?" Cas sasses. 

"Spicy! Okay then I'll think of something eventually" I say and he blushes but nods. 

"You live here all your life?" He asks. 

"Yep" I reply. 

"Ever think of leaving?" He continues. 

"Sometimes... I just don't know where I would go, and I definitely wouldn't leave without my family, so I don't know where we would go besides here" I answer. 

"Main Street Lawrence, where you can do laundry here, pay your taxes here, and get three girls for fifty dollars here" I say with a chuckle at the end. 

He gives me a confused look  
"They used to run a secret brothel kind of thing back in the 70's, and it got busted, but some people think it's still there and it's dirt cheap for whatever reason. Personally I could care less, I don't swing that way" I say, and then immediately beat myself up for it. 

I can't even tell my own brother who is my best friend, but I can tell this random new kid who I know nothing about. 

"I don't either so I am mutually uninterested" he just says with a shrug and act like nothing happened. 

"Here is one of the town psychics, Missouri, she's great" I say. 

"You believe in that stuff?" He asks. 

"What 'stuff'?" I question. 

"Her being able to read into the future and tell you what you're thinking and use magic and stuff like that" he says. 

"Well yeah, I mean it's real, and she's good at it so I can't deny the facts" I reply. 

"Oh I see. I've never talked to one cause my dad says to stay away from people like that, cause they consult the wrong thing sometimes and it's not really for us to reveal the future of others" he says. 

"That sounds reasonable I guess. What about your dad? I think Sammy told you our dad is a traveling business guy, how about your dad, or your parents, do you have any other family?" I ask. 

"My dad runs a company, so he travels a lot. And no I don't have a mom, and I do have a lot of siblings, but I never see them, basically ever" he replies. 

"Yeah, my mom died in a house fire when I was younger and Sam was only a baby, so I know what being mom-less is like" I say to try to get more out of him. 

"I'm sorry about that" is all he says and stares straight ahead. 

"I'll take you to meet her" I say, and speed off towards Lawrence graveyard. 

\---------

"Mom, Cas. Cas, mom" I say and point from the grave stone to Cas and back. 

"Lovely to meet you, miss Winchester" Cas says sweetly. 

"I come here a lot, which is funny cause I hardly remember anything about her, but I still feel the need to be around this box of some ashes from the fire that they can't even identify if it was her, and a few of her possessions, and I'm sure it sounds crazy but I talk to her all the time, and even though she doesn't reply, I feel like it's kinda therapeutic" I say and Cas just nods along to whatever I say. 

"Cas smells" I whisper to the headstone and he giggles a cute little laugh. 

"I'm sorry, this is kind of depressing. We can go" I say, immediately regretting taking a guy I kind of adore to a graveyard to watch me talk to a rock.

"Oh don't apologise, I appreciate that you trust me this much to open up about something so deep" he says profoundly. 

"Well, nice seeing you mom, but I've got to take this bump on a log somewhere else" I say and he smiles and nods and waves to the headstone before we both turn around and go back to the impala. 

"I don't know much about cars, but she's nice" Cas says. 

"She's my baby" I say and tap the hood. 

"One more stop" I say and he slides in the front seat and we take off. 

"You thought of somewhere else in this boring little town?" He asks. 

"Well isn't that what you wanted? And hey, it's not boring" I say. 

"Dean, honestly I just wanted to spend time with you, I don't care where we go" he says and I feel my cheeks heat. 

"Thanks" I say and I look over and he smiles wide. 

\------------

"This is it. Casa Blanca" I say as we pull up. 

"I'm pretty sure it would be 'Casa Azul' but don't let me ruin your fun" he says and I grin. 

"Come in" I say and hop out of baby and open his door on impulse. 

We walk up to my house and he waits for me to knock and then unlock the door before we go in. 

"Sammy, me and Cas are here" I shout. 

"Oh, hi" Sam says as he turns the corner. 

"Hi again Sam" Cas says. 

"Everything good?" I ask Sam. 

"Everything's fine" he nods. 

"What'd you eat for dinner?" I continue. 

"Junk food" he says with a grin. 

"Stop lying" I retort. 

"Ok, I had oatmeal for dinner" he caves. 

I grin hard "there's my health nut" I say and toss his hair. 

"Dad call?" I ask. 

"Nope" he says and I nod. 

"Well Cas, wanna see my room I guess? There's nothing else in this house that is interesting" I offer.

"Sure" he shrugs and runs a hand through his hair. 

I walk through the hall to my room and he and Sam both follow. 

I open the door and gesture in and immediately he grins that grin I love. 

"It's so... You" he says slowly. 

"Dimebag Darrel, Roger Waters, and Robert Plant? Gosh you're eclectic and mildly terrifying with this music obsession" he says. 

"Trust me it gets worse" Sam says from the doorframe with that 'little brother loves to embarrass you' look. 

"Isn't there some cake in the fridge?" I ask Sam, and he rolls his eyes and turns around, shutting the door behind him, 'cake' being the term for "I need privacy." 

 

"Even a turntable with Lynyrd Skynyrd on? You, my dear Dean, are very interesting, and I like it" Cas says and smiles. 

"I would love to see your room and find out all your weird obsessions some time soon" I say to him and he immediately gets a sour look. 

"I don't have a particularly creative room, but maybe some other time" he offers. 

"Thank you again, Dean, for taking me around town and introducing me to your mom, it was nice to meet her and see Sam again... I think I'm going to take off now though" he says abruptly and very awkwardly. 

"Oh alright, well, see you in school and come around anytime you want" I say and walk with him to the door. 

"Wait, I picked you up, can I give you a ride back to wherever you're going?" I ask. 

"No it's fine, it's nice out and I like to walk, goodnight guys" he says and goes out the door and shuts it behind him. 

"He's nice" Sam says, clearly content. 

"He is" I agree and go back to my room and think about him all night. 

 

\----------

"Dean! Wake up! Dad's back!" Sam yells as he runs past my door. 

I quickly snap out of bed and grab my shotgun behind my door before heading to the front door and waiting for the knock. 

Dad taps the morse pattern 'Mary' as we always do to be let in, and I open the door with my shotgun ready in case there is anything wrong. 

"Dean, good to see you, good job for your proper door procedure" dad says coldly and quickly walks past me. 

"Sam, you've gotten taller" He says and gives Sam a noogie. 

"That's what happens when people grow up, especially when you don't see them often..." Sam says and I shut my eyes tight. 

"Excuse me? I go out to hunt to save peoples lives, I raised you by myself, I put food on the table and a roof over your head, but you want to complain that I'm not here often when I'm out doing all that?" Dad explodes. 

"I just wanna toss a ball around once in awhile, I could use some help with homework or learn how to make an eggs benedict...something! do normal dad and son stuff!" Sam retorts. 

"I'm not going to argue with you young man, because enough is never enough for you, and you're too selfish to realise I do everything for you! We don't do normal dad and son stuff because we aren't normal! Go to your room!" Dad shouts, and with tears in his eyes, Sam runs to his room. 

Dad opens the fridge and goes straight for the case of beer, and I see that as my cue to leave.

I go to Sam's room instead of mine, and bring a cookbook from the hall closet. 

"You know you're suppose to poach the eggs and then layer the ham" I say as I walk in. 

He lays in bed and sniffles, and I plop down and continue skimming the cook book. 

"What are you talking about?" He mumbles, still laying with his back to me. 

"I'll teach you how to make eggs ben" I say.

"Dean, you don't have to do that, dad is suppose to cause he's my dad" Sam says and finally rolls over. 

"But he's busy and I look sexy wearing an apron so it's fine" I say and he laughs a little. 

"You know you don't have to argue with him every time he comes back" I say. 

"And you shouldn't have to raise me, that's all I'm saying" he says. 

"But I'm cooler than any dad" I say and he rolls his eyes in endearment. 

"Tomorrow we'll make eggs ben for breakfast" I say and tap his knee as I get up. 

"Thanks, Dean, you're the best" he says as I go. 

"I know I am, and Sam, anytime you want help with homework or wanna toss a ball, just tell me, anything, alright dude?" I say. 

"Ok, thanks" he says and nods and I flick his light switch off for him as I leave. 

"You know..." I hear dad grunt from the end of the hall. 

"You're just like your mom. I used to think Sam was, but now I know it's you because you know just what to say, and when to say it, and Sam... Sam is the stubborn one like me, and it's my fault" dad slurs as he walks closer. 

"You're drunk and i was only in there 10 minutes, go to bed, dad" I say and usher him to his door. 

I take his rifle out from under his pillow and lock it in his gun case, and take the shotgun from the door frame and hide it in the closet and go to my room to finally sleep. 

\--------

The next morning when I wake up I go to the kitchen with the cook book and warm the stove as Sam sits and does his homework at the kitchen table that hasn't been used as a family dining table in years. 

"You know you don't have to do homework on the weekend right?" I say. 

Sam rolls his eyes cause I remind him just about every week. 

I can't remember the last time I did homework, especially on a weekend. I'm not stupid, I could get good grades if I cared, but there are bigger and better things to do. 

"Come here" I say and he closes his book and comes to the stove next to me. 

I stand and teach him how to make eggs ben, dismissing the fact that my dad should be out here instead of hungover in his room. 

"And the sauce last?" 

"And the sauce last" I say with a nod. 

"Alright eat up" I say and hand him his plate. 

"I'll give this one to dad" he almost whispers and goes straight to dad's room. 

I follow behind just to make sure he's safe, and check on dad. 

Sam nudges dad awake and through his gruffy hungover stupor, Sam tries to apologise and then gives him the eggs ben. 

We go back to the kitchen and Sam makes two more as we sing along horribly to the Stones. 

I sit and let Sam serve me as he finishes mine, and wait till he sits down with his to take the first bite. 

"Damn Sammy, way to go" I say and give him a high five. 

"It actually is really good" he admits gleefully. 

"I'm proud of you" I tell him.

"Thank you" he says genuinely. 

"Who made this?" Dad asks as he comes into the kitchen with the dish. 

"Sam" I reply. 

"He taught me" Sam points at me. 

"Well done, you two" dad says. 

"Thank you, sir" we both reply. 

"Bobby just called me with a case in Montana, got plans or wanna check something out with me boys?" Dad asks. 

"Plans" I nod.   
"Homework" Sam says. 

"Wow, you're both very helpful, thank you... Well I'll be gone by 2300 so speak now or forever hold your peace" he says and walks back to his room. 

"You have plans? with who, Cas?" He whispers. 

"Just need to give baby a good wash" I whisper back.

"Lot of homework?" I add.

"Finished an hour ago" he replies and I grin. 

Dad has become that toxic to hang around that we both lie to get out of being dragged to another state to risk our lives and give him the opportunity to lecture and yell however long the drive is. 

\--------

"You, shook me all night long- do do doo do do" I sing along as I clean my baby's tires. 

Sam sits on the porch reading a book as I clean the car respectively as I said I would. 

"Hello Dean" Cas says and makes me jump a little because I didn't hear him come up from behind me like I can for everything else. 

"Hey man, I didn't even see you. What's up?" I ask. 

"I was bored, and you're the only person who likes me so I thought I'd come by... Need any help?" He says. 

The wrinkles in his forehead and the look in his sad eyes make me feel sorrow for him. 

"Sure, grab a sponge and clean everything" I say and he wastes no time. 

"So you seriously don't have any other friends?" I ask, which was a horrible start to small talk. 

"No, just you" he says and I feel bad for him. 

"Who sings this?" Cas asks. 

"This is Blue Öyster Cult my friend" I reply as Don't Fear the Reaper plays on my stereo. 

"I like this" he says and I smile. 

"You hungry, or do you want a drink? I got a few beers in the fridge or some soda if you want?" I offer. 

"Dean that's dad's beer and you don't think he notices but he does" Sam calls and I roll my eyes. 

"A soda is fine" Cas nods and I go inside to get him something. 

I bring him the drink outside and he smiles and thanks me for it and continues to wash the car. 

"Maybe after this we could go get something to eat, my treat?" Cas asks and I grin so hard into my arm. 

"Sam could come too" he adds, which is so sweet of him. 

"Depends on where we go, Sam is a particularly healthy eater" I say and he smiles and nods. 

\--------

"We're going to get a bite, wanna come?" I yell to Sam. 

After a long silence "nah you go" he replies and I turn around and head out with Cas.

I say to myself "date 2" even though we haven't expressed mutual feelings for each other, I could be falling for him while he clings onto me because I'm the only one in school who likes him. 

"What are you thinking about?" Cas asks. 

"Oh, nothing, why?" I ask. 

"Well you stopped singing along to the song and you started focusing very hard on the road" he supplies and I nod slowly. 

"I was just thinking about how fun it's been having you around this past week" I say and he smiles hard. 

"Thanks" is all he says and turns up the Ramones. 

\------------

"So you said you like art, that's interesting" I say, trying to spark up conversation to get to know him better. 

"I do. My brother is a great artist and I was inspired by him to do art and I really like it" he says. 

"Do you have any pictures of stuff you've done?" I ask. 

"Not with me, sorry, if you want I could take you to see some though" he offers. 

"That would be awesome" I nod. 

So after our food we get in the car and he tells me to go to the library, which figures cause I probably would have seen them if I ever went to the library. 

"Every month they do a different artists work on the walls, I asked around and was able to score this month even though there were other people already in the slots for the next six months" he says and I grin. 

We walk into the exhibit hall, and a placard proudly displayed on the wall says "works of art for this month kindly provided by artist Lucas Novak" 

"That's so cool" I say and point to the placard.

"That's not even a piece of art, Dean" Cas sasses. 

"Shut up, it's still cool" I argue. 

We turn the corner and I immediately freeze. 

The first piece I see is so bright with color, abstractly splashed and patterned like a garden but you can't quite tell, and I stand there for a few minutes just trying to soak up every detail, not quite understanding how a 16 year old could do this. 

"You've been staring at this one forever but you know there's ten more right?" Cas asks. 

"Dude, this is amazing, I can't believe I know you! This must feel like all of Van Gogh's friends felt when they saw his art, knew he'd be something big someday" I say and he tries to hide his smile but can't.

"Can we just move on, I don't want to be here all day" he begs and I nod so we move to the next lighted box, and I am drawn in by this one too. 

Scenery of the interior of a house, bright bolds of blue and yellow, with crazy detail and yet so general I can't say anything. 

"Dude, Sam would love this, all this, I don't know why you brought me here cause all I'm doing is kissing your ass and telling you how amazing they are, but Sam would discuss them with you in detail and tell you what other artists they remind him of and I'm sure he would love all of them too" I say and he grins.

"Next time" he nods. 

I move on, to the next, and the next, and the next, till I am all the way around the room, back to the last painting before the beginning, and get especially stuck on this one. 

"How come this one is so different? It's not even of anything, it's just... I don't know. I mean I like it, but it's not of anything?" I ask. 

"Not every art piece has to have a motive or result, just being there is a good enough reason I think" he says and I guess I can see what head saying. 

"I like it the best" I confirm after a little more staring. 

"You know for someone who listens to classic rock and drives a 67 impala, you have an great amazement with art, most people who are similar would dismiss it and the emotion that goes along with it all" Cas says profoundly. 

"Well I'd like to think I'm good at surprising people" I say and walk around more. "And Sam is my brother, god forbid if he didn't educate me on appreciation of art or understanding science or respecting history" I add. 

"We've been here an hour, and I appreciate how much you love my art, but for the love of god, can we go?" He asks and I laugh but go to the door. 

"Hey. I really appreciate you showing me deep stuff like that, cause art is pretty personal" I say seriously and he just nods.

\------------

"Thank you for the ride, see you at school tomorrow" Cas says.

"Anytime, and yeah, see ya tomorrow" I say and gets out of the car to the park where I always drop him off, and as soon as he is a few steps away I turn around and go straight home to talk about it with Sam. 

"Hey since dad's gone I wanted to talk with you" I say as I sit on Sam's bed.

"Alright, shoot" he nods.

"I like Cas" I quickly admit. 

"I know" he says with a normal expression. 

"No like, I want to date Cas" I add. 

"I know?" Sam says again just as confused. 

"What do you mean you know? I never told you I was gay?" I ask.

"I read your diary" he says sarcastically. 

"Seriously how do you know?" I ask. 

"You're my brother and I'm not blind?" He says, like it's still obvious. 

"Well does dad know?" I ask nervously. 

"No" he confirms and I relax a bit. 

"When he first sat down at our table during lunch you had heart eyes for him, and you've gone out or he's come over every day this week, and you've never done that with anyone" he states like it's just that obvious. 

"Okay, O awesome and wise one, does Cas know I like him?" I mock. 

"A little" he nods. 

"How do you figure?" I ask. 

"You showed him your room and again have hung out with him every day this week" he says and I just sit there in awe of how smart he is for being 13. 

"Does Cas like me?" I ask.

"Every day this week" he repeats and just stares at me like I'm the stupidest person on the planet. 

"He showed me his display of art in the gallery at the library" I mention. 

"I was gonna go check on that on Tuesday! Last month was that dramatic girl, and I don't even know why they put her art up" Sam says and I grin. 

"Thanks, Sammy, you're the best" I say as I stand up. 

"You've got me no matter what, Dean" he says and I smile as I leave his room and go back into mine. 

\---------

"Good morning, Sam & Dean" Cas greets as we walk in the grass. 

"Cas" Sam greets. 

"Here's lunch" Sam says and hands me a paper bag.

"Better not be green" I say as we separate. 

"It's greasy" Sam yells with a laugh and I smile. 

"I envy you and him" Cas says. 

"Everyone does" I say with a shrug. 

"Nice shirt" I add as I see his zeppelin tee. 

"Thanks" he says and we both walk in together. 

"Tonight we can catch a movie, sounds good?" I ask. 

"Sounds like a plan" he nods and waves as we part ways to get to our lockers before the bell. 

\---------  
The next few weeks Cas eats with Sam and I every day, hangs out whenever he can, and we get closer and closer. 

"You know it's been a month since I met Cas?" I ask Sam. 

"When's the wedding?" He asks sarcastically. 

"Shut up" I say and smack him on the back of the head. 

"You should just date already, he's wrapped around your finger and you are like a puppy at his feet" Sam says. 

"I'm not good at lovey-dovey stuff Sammy" I say as I pace. 

"Cas isn't into lovey-dovey either, so you're fine, just do whatever you think he'd like" Sam suggests. 

"I guess. I'll do it soon" I say and Sam nods and leaves my room. 

I pick up my phone and ring Cas right away. 

"Hey there, can you come over, I gotta ask you something?" I ask. 

"Sure, be right there" he says quickly and hangs up. 

I anxiously wait and think of all the things that could go wrong, but then think of all the things I know are right about this. 

I wipe my face stressfully and lay down in my bed and wait for him to come. 

When I wake up, from my apparent stress nap, Cas' warmth is covering me in my bed and the door is closed and locked. 

"Cas?" I ask. 

"Yes?" He replies. 

"How long was I out?" I continue. 

"Like an hour" he says. 

We lay in silence for awhile, our breathing matched, both just staring at the ceiling, and the more I stare, the more I think about that this is the room where my mom died. 

My dad couldn't put Sam back in here cause he was only a baby, and dad wouldn't sleep in here cause he said he couldn't bear it, so it became my room and has been ever since. Of course the ceiling has been repaired, but the presence and thought of her death being right there does not. 

I turn over to stare at the wall instead. 

"You okay?" Cas asks as he turns with me. 

"Bad memories on the ceiling, believe it or not, but as crazy as it sounds, that's where my mom died in the fire" I say and I feel his hand start to trace my arm. 

"I'm sorry. What is it you wanted to ask me before?" He asks. 

"Well Cas, we've been friends a month and I really like you, and so does Sam, which you know is important to me that Sam likes you, but I've gotten to know you a lot this past month, so I wanted to know if you would be my boyfriend" I say and finish with an exhale. 

He's quite for awhile which I completely understand, but then rolls over and looks me straight in the eye with his beautiful blue eyes, and for the first time, he grabs my jaw and behind my head and kisses me. 

"Since day one I have waited to say yes" he says and I pull him close. 

We both lay in silence, but perfectly content being with each other. 

\------------

When Cas leaves that night Sam makes jokes and teases me, but I know really that he is happy for me. 

"Heart eyes"  
"Lover boy"  
"Prince Charming" he taunts, and I can't help but grin. 

"You better shut up before dad comes back and finds out I am into guys, and specifically one guy" I say and whip him with a spatula. 

"He's hated all your previous girlfriends, maybe he should take that into consideration" Sam says with a shrug. What a smart kid. 

"Pretty sure he called that Jesy girl a whore" I recall. 

"Speaking of whore, there was an article in the paper dad told me we should check out. Let me find it" Sam mentions and looks through his computer. 

"Wow must be an interesting article" I joke. 

"It's for a case, Dean"he says dryly. 

"Duh" I say and push him a little. 

"Don't start" he warns, trying to be as serious as possible but I can see his smirk and the wildness in his eyes. 

I lightly push him again, and then it's war. 

He runs at me and pushes me and I hit the ground and we're rolling around smacking and tickling and jabbing each other in the ribs and neck and it's our ridiculous way of wrestling and having fun and being brothers despite the crazy environment we live in. 

"Draw?" I ask as we lay on the carpet floor, both out of breath. 

"Not yet..." He says slowly before nailing me in the balls with his fist and then we're both up and running through the entire house in no time. 

Things are spilled, items are thrown, stuff gets broken, but it's a grand ole time. 

"Should we get back to that article?" Sam suggests as I have him in a headlock behind the couch. 

"Oh shit yeah probably" I say and we both get up and dust ourselves off and look at the computer. 

\----------

Me and Cas have a habit of laying in my bed and not talking much, because being around each other is enough, but on this particular Monday afternoon; the first time we've been alone since Friday night, he's got a lot to say.

"What is your favourite color?" He asks. 

"Army Green or dark blue" I reply. 

"And flower?" He continues. 

"I'm a man! I don't do flowers" I say in a mock-deep rustic voice. 

"Okay tough guy" Cas says and kisses me. 

"Why do you want to know all of this?" I ask. 

"I have an idea" he replies. 

"So did those four jersey boys but you see how that turned..." 

"Shhhh. Don't say anything, I'm planning it all in my head, and I'm going to need you to leave again, on another hunt with Sam, I need a few days, you gotta go again" he says crazily. 

"By the way, you suck at hunting cause you've never brought anything back, not that I would eat a squirrel or whatever, and I would definitely break up with you if I saw a dead deer hung upside down in your backyard" he warns and I smile because his idea of hunting is the more innocent one. 

The thought of going out and killing a few deer seems like nothing compared to the monsters we hunt. 

"Okay well I think Sam has something for us to go and do anyway this weekend" I say skeptically. 

"Okay but you can't come home for the whole weekend" he clarifies.

"My dad won't be home for the whole week so I guess you've got time" I say. 

"Just give me a key and I'll be in and out three times this weekend" he says. 

"No wild parties okay?" I joke and he smiles. 

I am a little cautious and it feels weird trusting someone that isn't family, but I still find myself giving Cas the key to my house without even knowing what he's going to be doing besides some big grand surprise. 

\-----------

"Hey Dean" 

"Hey Cas, how's it going?" I ask. 

"You can come home now" he says and I can tell he's smiling. 

"Thanks honey" I joke and he laughs. 

"Alright I'll be on my way, give me a couple hours" I say and hang up. 

"We gotta go now uncle bobby, thanks for having us" I say and wave to him as I grab Sam's duffle bag and head out the door. 

"Cas is done?" Sam asks. 

"I guess so. Let's go find out what that weird indie kid has been working on" I say and we both hop into the car. 

\--------------

Cas sits on the front porch, looking excited and confident as we pull up. 

We get out of the car, I carry Sam's bag and mine again and Sam gives Cas a hug before going inside to give us our privacy.

"Hey there" I say and put down the bags and pull him in for a hug. 

"I missed you, but I'm really excited to show you" he says and gives me a kiss. 

"Let's go then" I say and he grabs Sam's bag and goes inside. 

I follow behind and wait for him to put Sam's bag in his room and then go to my room. 

The door is shut and by now, Cas is smiling so hard. 

"One sec" he says and stands outside my door. 

"I love you, and I hope you love this" he says and gives me a kiss, a long, deep, real kiss, and then opens the door. 

All seems normal, but what you can't miss is the insanely beautiful mural on the ceiling, right in the spot I always stare, in the spot my mom died, perfectly in the center of the room. 

I walk in and move directly under it, and look at it in all it's detail, each building and flower and cloud and car, all in different shades of green but all pieces of the town on my ceiling, giving a good taste in my mouth when I look at it instead of a sour one because the memory of my mom. 

I feel hot wet tears fill my eyes, and I never cry, but this one got me good. 

I finally take my eyes off the painting and Cas stands still inside my door, looking at me, and crying a bit as well, but he stands there with his big blue eyes looking so thoughtful and truly in love with me, and I can't come up with words to tell him how thankful I am.

I go over to him and pull him in the door and close it and hug him so hard. 

"Cas" I struggle to say through my tears and he holds just as hard. 

"This is so sweet and thoughtful, you're the best, thank you" I say as I pull him out of the hug and look him right in the eye. 

"I know how much it bothered you and I know how much you liked my art, so I know I needed to do this" he says seriously and I nod. 

"God, look at me, I'm a pathetic mess of tears and I never cry" I say with a laugh and he wraps his arms around me again. 

We lay down in my bed and I just stare at the painting forever and eventually we both drift off to sleep. 

\--------- 

"Dean?" I hear as Sam knocks on my door. 

"One sec!" I whisper/yell and get out of Cas' sleeping grip to go unlock my door. 

"Yeah?" I ask as I open the door slightly. 

"So what's the big surprise we had to wait all weekend to see?" He asks. 

"This" I say and swing the door all the way open. 

His eyes catch it immediately, and he walks into my room to get closer but doesn't take his eyes off it, so he doesn't notice that the artist is asleep on my bed. 

I go over and nudge Cas and he wakes up in a cute stupor with messy hair, but I motion over to Sam staring under the painting. 

"He likes it?" He asks. 

"He hasn't said a word, so that means he loves it" I reply. 

"He painted this right over where mom died, cause it gives you bad memories right?" Sam finally says. 

"Yeah" I agree and he looks at Cas. 

"This means the world to him, and I know he sucks at communicating his appreciation sometimes, but I promise you he will never be over this" Sam says and Cas breaks into a huge smile. 

"I finally saw your stuff at the library, the day before they changed it, and I was in there for probably three hours and everything was amazing, Dean & I are lucky to know you" Sam continues and Cas gets watery eyed again. 

"Come on Sammy, you're going to make the man cry" I joke and Cas laughs so hard the tears flow, but he gets up and hugs Sam and then hugs me and says "thank you" to both of us. 

\----------

Me and Sam made a game out of teasing Cas and how ridiculous he is with some of his beliefs and eclectic lifestyle, but we love him for it all the same. 

"But you think Zeppelin is cool despite Plant, right?" I ask in all seriousness. 

"Of course I do" he says and I smile and put my arm around him. 

"Your opinion on Van Gogh?" Sam asks, as Sam does. 

"He's great, and he had the whole suicide thing going for him, that upped the ante- it was a very ambiguous move, but on the contrary, Buddha technically killed himself and people try to dismiss that, so it just depends on the person I guess" he explains. 

"Repeat after me: Courtney did not kill Kurt but it wasn't suicide either" I say and Cas nods furiously. 

"Cas do you play any instruments?" I ask. 

"Nah but I think I sing okay. I know you play guitar cause I saw it in your room and it definitely wasn't dusty" he says and I smile. 

"Do you believe in astrology or astronomy?" Sam asks. 

"Astronomy" Cas replies and Sam nods. 

"Astrology and the belief in the zodiac and the idea that the celestial bodies actually determine our future and can predict if we're going to spill coffee on ourselves this week or have a dramatic love affair is nonsense to me, because that's such a low blow to the actual creator- whom I believe in; to worship the created and not the creator" Cas says, intellectually. 

"I agree. To have faith in a few gaseous orbs in the sky shaped as fish is nonsense to me, but to each his own I guess" Sam replies, and I feel three grade levels lower too stupid for this conversation. 

"Wanna get a pizza?" I ask. 

"I would love nothing more" Cas says and gives me a quick kiss. 

\------------

"What is this?" I ask as my boyfriend suddenly walks unannounced lazily into my room with a vinyl in his hand and bed head. 

"I want you to listen to this, okay?" He says. 

"It's from two years ago, so I know it's out of your listening range... My snobby ass boy not listening to anything that was made after 89" he mutters with a roll of his eyes. 

"But this is special to me and I want you to listen" he finishes. 

I nod, and he walks to my turntable, puts it on, places the stylus, and closes the lid, cutely climbing into bed with me and holding me so tight. 

If he isn't the most indie kid I've met, one of his indie bands blasts tunes that make me think of him right away, and I lay there, holding him as he holds me, and we just lay like we do a lot, listening to whatever music we like. 

Going to flip to the b-sides is the worst cause it gets cold without him, but he slides right back in to his spot and we hold hands as he quietly sings along. 

The last song on the record is a passionate and soulful one, about guilt and love and having a hard life, but fighting for it regardless of the circumstances, and it's my favourite on the album. 

"This one is beautiful" I say and he nods. 

\------------

"Hey Cas, can I come over?" I ask as I pull up to the park where I always drop him off. 

"Uh, sure?" He replies, very unsure. 

"Okay... Lead the way. Reminder: we've known each other three months and have been dating for another two months and I still know nothing about your home life but you know almost all about mine" I say, slightly bothered. 

"Almost?" He asks, switching the subject off him. 

"Where am I going?" I ask and point to the road. 

"Turn left at the end of the road" he says flatly. 

I hit the brakes and pull to the side and turn off the car. 

"If you don't want me to know anything about you, what the fuck are we dating for? People date to get to know each other, and you're always like a goddamn brick wall when it comes to anything like this. I never tell anyone about myself, I never open up to anyone but Sammy, you can ask him. But I've opened up to you these last five months, and although they have been the best five months, I'm still unhappy with the reality that I know nothing about your family or where you live" I say and put my head into my hands and lean on the steering wheel. 

"Dean, I..." He tries to say. 

"Get out" I demand. 

The door creaks open, no argument why he would want to stay, no argument that he still loves me and loves us, no argument that he's sorry and will tell me anything, just leaving. 

I start the car up again and speed off like I never have before, and I can't control the hot wet tears as they flow for the mistake I made by actually opening up to someone that I obviously shouldn't have trusted cause it wasn't a two way street. 

I get home and don't care where I park, just haphazardly pulling in and killing the engine, then walk into the house, without even the warning knock, and just unlock it and slam it shut. 

Sam comes out of his room with a shotgun and stares at me. 

"I know I didn't knock but I'm fine" I say as I march to my room. 

"You don't seem fine" he supplies. 

"Me and Cas are done" I say and slam my door. 

I go straight to my bed and lay down, and it doesn't feel right without him, so I frustratedly yank the covers off my bed and lay on my floor next to my bed, where some of his discarded and forgotten clothes lay, and I cover my head with my blanket to ignore all signs of him, but even my blanket smells like him and I try to ignore it as I fall asleep. 

\----------

No messages, no calls, no visits, and he hasn't been to school in two weeks. 

"You need to go see him" Sam says as we drive to school in the morning. 

"Where, Sam? Where? Where do I go see him? Cause I don't know where he freakin lives, he never told me, that's why we're having this conversation, that's why we're broken up, cause he wouldn't tell me anything" I say frustratedly. 

"Lucas Novak lives on 22 Oakland avenue in oak tree heights apartment complex, apartment number 39" Sam says and hands a piece of paper to me with those details printed on it.

"Where did you get this?" I ask. 

"The principals computer at your school, Dean. I walked over after class yesterday and said I was looking for you, and the principal left me in his office as he went to send someone to find you, then I got into his computer while he was gone" Sam sasses. 

"Thanks, I'll pick you up after school, don't walk home alone, call me if you need anything, stay safe!" I say quickly as he gets out of the car and I speed off. 

I doubt myself the whole way there because it should be the other way around, he should be coming to my house to apologise, and this will make me look weak and desperate and Dean Winchester is not weak or desperate, but I still go, and stand on his porch knocking at his door with a broken heart hoping to be healed. 

No one comes to the door, and at first it pisses me off, for all I've done, and all he's done to me, but I'm still here and he doesn't even have the decency to open the door, but then I start to worry myself into thinking that maybe he's hurt or dead on the floor cause no one thought to come see him, especially me, regardless of not knowing his address. 

I try the door and it's locked, but I go back to the car and grab a lock pick trigger out of the trunk and pick the door and go inside with my knife drawn just incase. 

The first room I see is a living room, boring with only one couch, and the kitchen tidy and almost bare as well. 

I find his bedroom, the obvious one with the brightly painted door, and I nudge it with my foot, squinting my eyes, afraid of whatever I'll find. 

Whatever was in my mind for what Cas' room looked like was completely accurate. 

Cream coloured walls, posters for bands you've never heard of, Christmas lights, candles, tapestry, a turntable, art supplies everywhere, clothes scattered all over, and art all over the walls. 

A few Polaroids of me are on the wall, and candid drawings and sketches of me as well, just like you'd see out of any cheesy artsy romance movie. 

In the middle of the room a mop of brown hair sticks out from under the covers of a bed with ratty old blankets, and a steady breathing pattern makes the covers move. 

I slowly make my way over to the bed and put my knife up my sleeve as I nudge Cas awake. 

"Cas, babe, wake up" I say and he shifts and groans. 

"Dean?" He says as he opens his eyes and immediately starts to shake and cry. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" he cries as he lays there. 

"It's okay Cas" I say, even though I'm not too sure yet. 

A door slams somewhere else in the apartment and Cas' eyes get big. 

"You have to go, Dean" he says and pushes my arm. 

I feel my blood start to get hot, because he's still pushing me away even though I'm right here, but then I try and know the situation before I go assuming things. 

"Cas, who's here, why do I have to go?" I ask, and stand up. 

"This is why I didn't want you to come here" he cries and shakes. 

"Tell me why!" I demand. 

"You'll think I'm crazy" he says and wipes his face. 

"Try me" I retort. 

"Ghosts, Dean. Fucking ghosts in my apartment. Seven of them" he says flatly and lays back down and covers his face with the blanket. 

I get up and go out to my car and grab my shotgun with rock salt, an iron rod and a box of table salt, and go back inside. 

"I thought you left, and what's all this?" Cas asks as I come back into his room. 

"My family doesn't hunt animals, we hunt this bullshit. Ghosts and werewolves and the monsters under your bed. The gun has salt in it, ghosts don't like salt. The iron rod is also cause they don't like iron, both these things slow them down, but also piss them off, and the salt protects you so they can't touch you cause they can't pass over it" I say as I am laying down a ring of salt around his bed and the windowpanes. 

"I thought I was crazy" he mutters. 

"Trust me?" I ask. 

"Always will, Dean" he says, and I grab his jaw and kiss him hard before going out of his room and finding the visible ghosts and striking them with the iron. 

My phone rings and god it better be Sammy. 

"Sam what do you need?" I say as I pick up. 

"Listen I'm at the library and I was looking at Cas' apartment and it's haunted by..." 

"Seven ghosts" I finish. 

"Crap are they after you already?" He asks. 

"Yep" I say as I fire a salt round at a especially scary looking female ghost. 

"The remains of them are in the cemetery in town, not the one mom's at- the other one, but it was a dad, a mom and five kids, all poisoned by their neighbour who had some type of Cold War against them" he says. 

"They messed with Cas' head and he didn't want me to come here cause of them and he thought he was crazy" I say as I head back to his room. 

"You'll both be okay, just get him out of the apartment, Dean" Sam says. 

"Working on it, call you later" I say and hang up as I grab clothes for Cas. 

"Get up, let's go" I yell.

"They won't let me leave" he says quietly. 

"Like hell they won't. I said get up" I demand and grab him by the shoulder and throw clothes at him. 

All five of the children are in the room now, glaring at me with the iron and rock salt shotgun. 

Cas slowly puts on the pants and slides into the shirt, and he couldn't be on my nerves anymore. 

"Now!" I yell at him. 

His eyes speak of terror, but I grab him and give him a really tight hug and whisper in his ear "I've got you" and we go. 

He takes the iron rod and we both step outside the circle and make our way to the door, like a team. 

When we get out he runs straight for my car and I put the items back in the trunk before getting in the drivers seat and finally getting to be with him. 

"Who's gonna talk first?" I ask as we both exhale a sigh. 

"You" he says and I roll my eyes. 

"Alright well, I get it why you didn't want to take me to your apartment- because of the ghosts- and I'm not mad at you anymore for not letting me come over cause I get it" I say. 

"Thank you for understanding" he nods. 

"And I'm sorry about not telling you that my family's hunting trips aren't the animal kind" I add. 

"I would've thought you were crazy till those ghosts showed up when I first moved in, so I understand mutually" he admits. 

"The ugly part of the job is to get rid of the ghosts I have to burn their bones" I say and he gets wide eyed. 

"You trust me though, right?" I ask again. 

"I told you, I always will" he confirms, although uneasy, and I lean over and grab behind his head and under his jaw and kiss him slowly. 

"I've missed that more than anything in the world" he says as I start the car and pull out of the driveway. 

"These two weeks have been the worst, ask Sam, I was a whiny baby" I say and he smiles and reaches out to lace his fingers with my right hand. 

"Everything is alright now" he says. 

\---------

Cas stays with me for the next few days, although the remains have been salted and burned, I'm not complaining about having him stay over cause sex is good and he's a great chef. 

"Your apartment really is fine now" I remind him as we drive past his neighbourhood on our joyride. 

"But your clothes are comfy and you're warm at night" he says sweetly. 

"You're so cute, and man I don't call things cute, but god you are cute" I say and he blushes. 

"You're pretty too" he says and puts his hand on my thigh. 

"Your records are all at your apartment, you've got to be missing them" I urge. 

"Your collection of Pink Floyd is sufficient" he says with a smirk. 

"But you miss your Beatles" I say. 

"I do miss my Beatles, and my houndmouth" he says with a nod. 

 

"I want you to meet my dad" I say after a long silence. 

"Okay" he replies easily. 

"He's homophobic, and will be extremely displeased to find out I have a boyfriend, and maybe even throw things at you, but I'll protect you" I say. 

"I was blessed by being born into a family that hardly knows I exist and couldn't give two shits about my sexuality, but I'm sorry that your dad is that way, Dean" he says softly. 

"I'm just going to play the mom card on him" I say, and know that Cas knows what I'm talking about. 

\----------

A week later and I have dinner arranged for tonight in a decent restaurant, in public so my dad won't yell at me or pull a weapon on Cas. 

"Dad I invited someone to dinner that I want you to meet" I say as we start to get ready for dinner. 

"I'm not liking this one bit. Dean, we never go out to dinner, and now you want me to meet someone?" He questions. 

"Trust me" i say and go into my room. 

Hyperventilating, pacing and shaking is only done behind closed doors, but when we leave for dinner it's leather jacket, sunglasses and blank stare swagger that hides the fear. 

Sam hugs me before we go inside, and I hug him back for dear life. 

I go to the bathroom as soon as we get inside, meeting Cas in there, and letting him give me a mini pep talk before we go to the table. 

"You can do this, maybe he won't be so bad, he loves you even though he's shit at showing it, I'm here for you, you can always come live at my apartment with me if anything goes wrong... I love you" he says and hugs me so tight. 

I go to the table and sit down, witnessing my dad order a pitcher of beer all for himself and then letting Cas know to come and sit. 

"Dad, this is Lucas, aka Cas" I say as Cas walks directly up to him and reaches for his hand. 

"Cas this is my dad, John" I say and exhale silently as they shake hands and politely greet each other. 

"Sam ordered you a sweet tea" I inform him. 

"Thanks Sam" Cas says and Sam nods. 

"So why are we dressed up and eating out together, and what's the significance of pretty boy?" Dad blatantly asks. 

"Well we never do this and I thought it would be nice, and Dean had something he wanted to say to you" Sam fills in right as I feel as if I'm about to cry. 

"Well Sam, I pay bills at the house and I pay for our food, so I hope you don't expect me to pay for your 'nice' idea" he says rudely. 

"I'm taking care of it all, sir" Cas reassures. 

"Kiss ass" dad mutters under his breath. 

"Dad you don't even know Cas, you don't have to hate him right away" Sam says. 

"Let him fight his battles, Sam" dad sternly scolds. 

"That's the problem, dad, it shouldn't be a battle for you to meet someone I want to introduce to you" I say strongly. 

"Excuse me?" He says. 

"You know why we're here. You hate Cas cause you think he turned me gay or something, but big news dad, I have been, all my life, and I don't know why it's such a big deal cause you hated all the girls I brought home before, said they were all tramps and I needed someone like my mom. Well here he is, dad. He's paying for the meal, respectfully stood up and shook your hand, is politely calling you 'Sir' and he's putting up with all the shit you're giving him for being himself" I say, in a calm voice but still with confidence. 

"You got what you knew we came here for, me coming out to you as gay, and now we can continue our dinner" I say as the waitress puts down the drinks and his pitcher of beer that he pours and chugs down right away. 

We order more, while dad just sits there, in total silence, face red hot, and fists balled at his sides. 

"Mom would have loved Cas, cause they're both so free spirited, and mom wouldn't want you to treat Dean like this, dad. Mom would've accepted Dean because this is just him" Sam says and I thank the deities for him. 

"Don't bring up your mom in this" he says sternly. 

"Why not? You know I'm right, moms best friend was a gay guy, whom I'm pretty sure is Dean's godfather, and mom loved you, and loved me, and loved Dean, she would accept him the way he is and so should you" Sam continues. 

"Sir, I have no wrong intentions with your son, Dean is an amazing guy, I applaud your parenting, doing it alone must have been hard, but you raised an awesome guy and I have had the pleasure of being around both him and Sam, who is mutually upstanding, mature and smart, and they both talk highly of you only, and I think we got off on the wrong foot, but I respect you, and I hope we can try again to connect properly" Cas extends. 

Now I might agree with my dad's "kiss ass" comment, but that's only cause I really know Cas. 

"Cas has been nothing but nice" Sam confirms. 

"He's funny too" I whisper to my dad and Cas smiles. 

"Our family is different than most" dad warns. 

"Oh I am aware" Cas says. 

"He knows, dad" I say and he shoots a mean look at me right away. 

"He had ghosts in his apartment but Dean & I took care of it" Sam confirms. 

"They were bad news, it's your family business so I know you know, but your sons saved me and I have nothing but appreciation for them" Cas adds. 

Our food comes and we all eat in an awkward silence, Cas occasionally glancing at me and Sam as dad sits silently eating and fixing his eyes on his plate only. 

"Can you drop us a line here, dad?" Sam asks. 

"Eat your food" he grunts. 

"I don't get what the problem is. I'm not into women, but that doesn't make me any less of a man" I say to my dad. 

"I assure you we both hold tight to our pride and masculinity" Cas jokes. 

 

"Are you happy with him?" He finally speaks. 

"Extremely... They don't call it gay for nothin" I say with a smirk and throw finger guns at my dad. 

"Seriously though, yes, I'm happy, he's great to me" I say with a nod. 

"You will never tell anyone about the family business, you'll never distract him from his hunts or school, you'll understand family comes first?" Dad asks Cas, looking at him straight in the eye. 

"Your family business is none of my business to tell anyone, I will never distract him from what's important, and I understand one hundred percent that family comes first, their bond makes it crystal clear" Cas replies and gestures to me and Sam. 

"Then I guess I see no problem with you two dating. Mary would have wanted it, so I guess I do too" he struggles to say, but still says it. 

I feel a little bit of emotion coming from behind my eyes, so I suppress it by thinking about anything else. 

"I really appreciate it dad" I say sincerely. 

"Thank you for understanding, sir, if we can do anything for you, just let us know" Cas adds. 

"Thanks, dad. He really does make him happy" Sam says as he hugs dad from the side. 

We finish our meal, and dad heads to the restaurant's bar, saying "I'll be back later tonight, you take the Baby home and I'll get a cab." 

\-------------

"All is well in the Winchester camp" Cas says as we get in bed after getting our dinner clothes off. 

"Biggest news my dad has ever had to swallow, and probably the bloodiest tongue he's ever had to bite" I say. 

"I'm proud of you for speaking your mind" he says. 

"Don't get all lovesong-y on me" I say and he smiles wide. 

I could lay in this bed, and look at him smile, and watch his beautiful eyes forever. 

\-----------

We move like a unit every day to get to school, sometimes Cas sleeps over, sometimes we pick him up from his apartment, but we all take care of each other and Sam has really started trusting Cas, as Cas has really gotten to know Sam. 

We pull up to Cas' apartment and Sam closes whatever book he is reading, and puts Cas' little lunch bag in the back seat for him. 

"Morning Dean, morning Sam, morning Baby" Cas says as he slides into the back seat and pecks a kiss on my jaw. 

"So Sam, got any cute people in your school you've got your eye on?" Cas asks. 

"Nah" Sam says with a grin. 

"They're all afraid of him, because of me, of course" I say and Cas rolls his eyes. 

Sam tries to put his feet on the dash but I quickly swat them off and he rolls his eyes. 

"Cas, who do you think he loves the most, you, me, or the car?" Sam asks. 

"Probably you, then the car, then me" Cas replies with a dorky smile.

"I think you're right... Sorry a 1967 hunk of metal means more to him than you" he says. 

"She is prettier than I am so I don't blame him, and they've been together a lot longer than we have, I understand the bond is stronger" Cas jokes. 

"She's got a good music taste too, very classic" Sam adds and pulls the case of tapes out of the glove box. 

"She's big competition, maybe one day I'll pass her up, I mean she can't give him blo... Never mind" Cas starts to say but I turn around and glare at him. 

"You guys, I have headphones..." Sam says. 

"Please Sammy" I say and he puts them on and plugs them into the Walkman with whatever tape. 

"Don't talk about sex in front of him!" I scold. 

"I mean it's true, you can love her all you want but she really can't give you a blowjob no matter where you stick your dick" Cas says with a smirk. 

"Really?" I ask, completely dumbfounded that he's being so wildly inappropriate today. 

"She's got a bigger rack than I do though" Cas continues. 

"Stop comparing yourself to my goddamn car! She's beauty- she's grace but you're my boyfriend and I love you both so just shut up!" I say. 

"Feisty" he says and reaches up front and puts his hands in my hair. 

"Whadda ya say we drop Sam off and ditch, I've got a few good ideas" Cas whispers in my ear. 

I get chills and grip the steering wheel tighter as my own ideas go through my head, and then I'm dropping Sam off at the doors, waiting till he gets inside and not even looking back at mine & Cas' school. 

He climbs into the front seat and slides next to me immediately, putting his hand on my thigh and slowly sliding toward my crotch. 

"I'm driving, if you make me crash my Baby then we'll have to be on break for a short period of time" I warn. 

"I forgot, Baby comes before me" he says, fake pouting and slides to the other side of the front seat. 

"Don't be like that" I say and drive to the parking garage. 

"No it's okay, I get it" he says dramatically and stares out the window, blowing on the window and drawing a sad face in the moisture. 

I quickly drive all the way up to the second to last level where there are tons of cars but no people, and park in the back corner and kill the engine. 

I reach over, turning his jaw so he looks at me, and he's still got that mock sad drama look. 

"Backseat, now" I demand. 

"Love your car so much, we have to have sex in her, no one asked me about a threesome" Cas continues with the games. 

"Okay shut up" I say and drag his ass to the backseat. 

"You're a little shit, you know that right? Pulling that little stunt in front of Sam and teasing me while I was driving, and now you're being a big baby" I say to him. 

"She's big Baby" he says and pats the seat. 

"I'm going to murder you" I say, and that's when he finally breaks character and laughs like crazy. 

"Finally. I guess I should threaten you more often when you get into these goddamn acting moods" I mutter. 

"This ain't acting" he says and lays on me and kisses me long. 

Getting my pants off prove to be complicated, but when they're off Cas shows me up by having no problem taking his off. 

It's fast, close together, loud, and really sweaty and squeaky cause of the leather seats, but it's amazing and as I am looking down at my boyfriend and his beautiful face I roll my eyes because this is all I've ever imagined. 

"I love you" I say, and he kisses me in reply. 

\---------------

"So, how was school?" Sam asks with a smirk, too damn smart for his own good. 

"Educational" I reply and he rolls his eyes. 

"Are you going to move out and live with Cas after you finish school?" He suddenly asks. 

"Sam, why would you think that? I wouldn't leave you alone, even if I was planning on leaving, which I'm not" I say surprisedly.

"Just checkin" he shrugs. 

"Why?" I ask. 

"Just seems like you and Cas are awfully close, and the next step in a relationship is moving in together, right?" He says. 

"No, Sam. I'm staying with you and dad" I declare. 

As I think of the root of this conversation and where it started, I realise that Sam probably feels neglected and jealous with how much time I spend with Cas. 

"Hey wanna go catch a movie tonight or go play at the arcade?" I ask. 

"Really?!" He asks excitedly. 

"Sure, and no Cas" I say.

"Aw, you don't have to do that, he's your boyfriend" Sam says sweetly. 

"I spend all the time with him" I say with a wave of my hand.

"And you live with me" he deadpans. 

"Shut up, Sam, I'm trying to do something nice, just go with it- no Cas" I say and he shrugs and nods. 

\-----------

"I'm sorry babe, he's neglected, like a wet puppy outside" I say and he gets a sad look. 

"He is like a sad puppy. Well I'll miss you, but I hope you two have fun" he says. 

"Thanks, see you tomorrow" I say and he kisses me through the open window and heads off to his apartment. 

I drive home and pick Sam up and we head to the theatre first. 

"What to see, what to see..." I repeat as I stare at the ticket booth. 

"Anything sci-fi" he mutters. 

"Chick flick" I say. 

"No way" he rolls his eyes. 

"Horror?" I ask. 

"Our life is a horror movie" he says and I can't argue with that. 

"Chick flick it is" I say with a smirk. 

"I said sci-fi, Dean" he argues. 

"Whatever, wish granted, your highness..." I mutter. 

"Yeah, two tickets for uh, rogue one" I say to the girl behind the booth. 

She prints out the tickets and brushes her hand against mine as she hands them to me, but I ignore it and I shove the money at her and walk away with Sam. 

"She was totally into you" he says with a grin. 

"Really?" I ask. 

"You didn't hear her?" He asks. 

"She said something?" I ask in utter amazement. 

"She said you were cute..." Sam says, like it's obvious. 

"Yeah nope didn't hear a thing" I say. 

"Wow, that's nuts" Sam comments. 

"Yeah that was bizarre" I say with a shrug. 

"No, it's nuts that you only have eyes for Cas. You've been with girls on dates and checked another girl out while you were on the date, and single or dating you've always checked people out or pointed them out and said they were hot, but the ticket booth girl was a solid 7 on your rating scale, yet you didn't even hear that she said a word" he says, and I smile that he notices details like that about me. 

"Aw you're sweet, little brother, but you're right, I guess I only have eyes for him, cause I still look at attractive people, and I find myself going 'her eyes aren't as pretty as Cas' or 'his smile is nothing in comparison to Cas' and he's so important to me, like no girl has been before" I say and he just nods. 

"Popcorn and soda?" I ask. 

"What's a movie without em?" He asks and we get them both. 

\-------

"Love the power female lead" is the first thing Sam says as we get up and leave the theatre. 

"Always a good trait" I agree. 

"Arcade now" he says giddily. 

"I'm going to bust your ass in Galaga, winner gets to claim the impala if dad dies on a hunt" I say. 

"That was incredibly negative, you must be fun at parties, and dude you're already getting the impala so you need a better wager, say... Dad's journal" Sam argues. 

"That's already yours dude" I say and he shrugs. 

I buy a bunch of tokens, and right away we go to Galaga, then skee ball, then Pac Man, DDR, baseball batting cages, and coin dozer. 

We are about to cash in our tickets when we both freeze in our tracks and see a car simulator racing game. 

"We have to do it" Sam declares and we walk straight for it. 

We put our coins in and scroll through the list of cars, and I find the original ford mustang and he picks a new dodge charger, and we join our game so we're on the same track. 

"Automatic or manual?" Sam asks me. 

"I always wanted to drive stick, I'm going manual, you?" I reply. 

"Automatic" he says. 

The virtual announcer chick waves the checkered flag, and we're off in a string of friendly curse words and insults at each other and it feels more like bumper cars then racing. 

"What the hell, you totally just made that challenger drive off the edge when you're already in first?!" Sam exclaims. 

"Well now you're in second so shut up" I say. 

We go around the track three times, and I enjoy so much the manual shifting. 

"Winner is player 1" the virtual announcer says and I throw myself a mini party. 

"Loser!" I say as I poke him and he rolls his eyes. 

"Wait we need a shooting game" I say and point across the arcade to the game with guns. 

We make our way over and I make sure I get the blue gun so Sam is stuck with the pink one, and he just gives me that "fuck you" look and puts his coins in. 

I put mine in and we go through the selection of guns, knowing all of them, and picking the same glock that we're both familiar with. 

"Colt revolver, isn't that a bedtime story dad told us?" Sam asks as we continue with our settings. 

"Samuel Colt is real, and the Colt is real, it can actually kill basically anything" I confirm. 

"Wow, that's a pretty mature bedtime story, he didn't hesitate to lay it all on us at such a young age" Sam says. 

"Zombies please" I say as we pick our enemy. 

"They're not realistic in this" Sam says easily. 

"Well it's not like they have djinn or something" I say. 

"Zombies it is... Your highness" he claps back at me and I grin as he selects zombies. 

The game starts, we both get into the proper stance for gun wielding, and both of us are extremely accurate, which is encouraging but also not because I sometimes wish we weren't raised like this, especially not Sam, I wish he would've gotten a shot to be semi-normal at least. 

We win close to each other, and cash in our tickets at the end of the night for lame little gifts, Sam gets a bookmark for himself and I get a heart shaped slinky for Cas. 

"Y'know, this bookmark sucks, and it was ridiculous that it was 40 tickets, but I will use it all the time cause I read a lot, and it will bring good memories. This was fun, Dean, thanks" he says genuinely. 

"It was fun, thanks for coming along Sammy, and I'm sorry about spending so much time with Cas, but I hope you always remember you're my number one, before Cas and before dad" I say and he just nods. 

\-------------

"Got this for you last night with my fifty tickets" I say as I hand Cas the stupid little heart shaped slinky. 

"Aw, you're so sweet, thinking of me when you were suppose to be hanging out with Sam and forgetting about me" he says. 

"You know I couldn't do that, but hey, we had a fun time" I say. 

"Didn't we Sam?" I ask as he walks up to the lunch table. 

"Yeah it was fun, we saw rogue one and went to the arcade" he says to Cas. 

"I gave him the slinky" I say and Sam smiles. 

"You should have seen this loser last night Cas" Sam says and I look away as my cheeks get a little pink. 

"The girl who gave us our tickets at the theatre said he was cute and flirted with him, and he didn't even notice! we walked away and he didn't even know she said anything to him. He got you a stupid slinky to show you he was thinking of you and he didn't even check anyone out last night, all he was doing was looking at attractive people and comparing them to how much better you are, he's literally ass over heels in love with you and I've never seen anything like it" Sam marvels and I am smiling so hard into my arm to try and hide it as Cas makes all these squeeze noises and hugs me and kisses me all over. 

"Ok I'm leaving you're gross" he says and goes to eat on the other side of the tree. 

"You're the sweetest... under that cranky, sarcastic, bossy, 'classic rock music and guns' shell, you're soft and I love it" Cas beams. 

"And I hate both you and Sam right now for exposing me" I say and he giggles that stupid giggle that makes me even more in love with him. 

"Dad's right, he turned you more gay" Sam comments and Cas laughs and smiles in pride. 

"The term is soft" I say and Sam sticks his tongue out at me. 

"Only soft for you" I say and lean against Cas. 

\-----------

As the fall comes, more and more weekend hunts come, and some of them even last during the week and dad has to call in sick for me and Sam. 

We sit at the motel we've rented in Illinois and look in our various forms of research; dad on the phone with uncle bobby, Sam reading in the lore books and me online searching why people keep dying by minuscule things, such as a woman bit by her ankle biter chihuahua dying instantaneously, or a man's throat being slit by what appeared to be a paper cut, and a teenager completely bleeding out cause he cut his finger on a pop can. 

Cas & I talk on the phone every night, and he finds excuses to call me throughout the day, like homework that he knows I'll never do or a suspicious cat on my front porch or a rumour he heard about me around school. 

"I miss your cheesy jokes" he says and I grin. 

"Your hair always smells like evergreen trees" he adds. 

"Oh and those incessant flannels you and Sam seem to have a closet full of" he teases. 

"You stole half of them" I remark and he laughs. 

"You love to see me in your clothes" he says because he knows I do. 

"I miss it when your mouth is shut, cause when it's open you're always making fun of me" I say slyly and he makes a noise of shock and then hangs up and I can't help but laugh to myself as I call him back. 

"You're such a friggin drama queen" I say with a smile as soon as he picks up. 

"If I recall correctly, you very much like my mouth, especially open, so choose your words correctly, young Jedi, or you might lose yourself a welcome home blowjob" he says and I crack up. 

"I stand corrected. Strike that statement from the record, I withdraw my last claim, your honour" I say and Sam scoffs from across the room. 

"The judge is the one who gets to decide if a statement is struck from the record, you can withdraw your claim but he gets the final ruling if your statement is withdrawn or to deny your request to withdraw a statement" Sam says like it's common knowledge. 

"Calm down, ya nerd, you're 13. Go look at boobies in a dirty magazine and make 'your mom' jokes instead of educating me on how a courtroom works" I say and he rolls his eyes with extra hesitation for emphasis. 

"There! That's the 13 year old I'm looking for" I say after the eye roll. 

"Shut up" he says. 

"That too, much better" I add and he rolls over so he's facing the wall. 

"Leave him alone, he's intelligent and mature and it's a good thing" Cas says softly. 

"Don't support the nerdiness Cas" I say. 

"What'd he say?" Sam asks.

"He said you're intelligent and mature and that it's good and I should leave you alone" I say to Sam. 

"Thanks Cas" Sam says, still not looking up from his book. 

"He says thanks Cas" I say in the phone. 

"Aw" Cas responds. 

"When do you think you are coming back?" He asks. 

"I have no idea. Dad is out now, at the bar probably, but he knows we need to get back to school so he might just send us home and work on the research we've gathered for him and he'll take the van back when he's done with whatever this stupid thing is" I say. 

"Okay well I hope everything goes well and you guys stay safe and your dad finds what he needs so you can come back soon" he says sweetly. 

"Thanks, Cas" I say. 

"Love you, sleep good" he says. 

"Love you too, stay warm" I joke and he laughs and I hang up. 

"Hey Sammy wanna toss a ball?" I ask. 

"It's 10 o'clock at night" Sam says like I'm stupid and can't tell time. 

"Thanks Einstein, but we don't need to go outside" I say as I dig through my duffle bag and find the baseball Cas gave me with a little note in cursive that says "there's no crying in baseball."

I toss it across the motel room to him and he catches it, closes his book, stands up and moves to the back wall and tosses it back. 

"What if we bust a hole in the wall, or break the lamp or the tv?" He asks as he catches it.

"They need a new lamp and tv anyways, and we can blame the hole on dad drinking too much and he won't remember doing it or not doing it either" I say and he shrugs. 

We toss the ball around, sharing theories on the monster we're hunting, what research we've dug up, and really whatever we think of as we toss back and forth, and it's good to just be able to talk and spend time. 

When dad finally comes back that night he yells at us for throwing the ball cause we could've broken something, and Sam just looks at me like 'I told you so.' 

We go to bed that night, and all I can think about is how much I miss Cas. 

\----------

Dad finally sent us home, on Wednesday night, after Sam found a whole page online about minuscule causes of death and what it's source is, and a simple hex was all it ended up being, so we were sent home cause all he needed to do was find and kill the witch. 

I try but fail to hide my excitement as we drive home, and I know Sam loves seeing him when we get back too, because he smiles and hugs Cas as we get to the porch; every time that we leave, he's always at the porch waiting when we come back. 

"Get a room" Sam says as Cas kisses me and I touch his butt. 

"Not on the porch" Cas whispers in a laugh. 

"Let's go then, I need my formal welcome home, you matron of war" I say and he giggles and does a curtsy like a dweeb. 

We walk inside and to my room, and he kisses me before I go in, anxious to show me the surprise he'd been talking about on the phone. 

My bed is covered in little gifts, each with a little description of why on it. 

My very own hunter journal, a Johnny Cash vinyl, a lighter, a leather bracelet, a tape of Nirvana live at Reading festival, and a new flannel. 

"You have way too much time on your hands when I'm gone... Seriously you should get a side chick to spend time with while I'm gone instead of buying me things" I joke as I set it all on my nightstand and pat the bed so he comes and lays down with me. 

"Hey, this is my way of saying 'I missed you and i thought of you all the time' and no, I'll never have a side chick, you're all I want and more than I need. You better not have a side chick for when you're gone" he says and thins his eyes as he stares at me. 

"I don't... As Scorpion famously says, 'there's no one like you'" I say and continue to sing the song and he laughs and hugs me again. 

"I wish I could come with you" he says to me as he lays there looking at me with puppy eyes. 

"My dad would never let that happen... You'd be so distracting- I'd never get anything done, and you don't know what it's like, you might get too scared and you wouldn't know what to do in a dangerous situation and you could get hurt or worse, and I'm not going to let that happen, so you're safest here" I say, even though I would love to bring him along so we wouldn't have to be apart. 

"But you can protect me, and teach me, and I'm good at research, I could help!" He begs and I smile but still nod my head 'no.'

"My mom was a pro, but she still died because of it. I lost her, I can't lose you too" I say and point to the mural on my ceiling. 

Cas leaves it at that, and we just lay there with each other, breathing matched and fingers interlocked. 

\---------- 

I forget to give him his gifts the day we got back, so when I go through my duffle before school I find the knife, Coldplay tape and sketchbook I bought him, and I impatiently wait till he wakes up to give them to him. 

I do little things around my room and get ready for school as Johnny Cash plays on my turntable, hoping Cas will wake up soon so I don't have to wake him up- although I don't mind. 

"Hey that's a good album, someone great must've given it to you" Cas says as he wakes up, like a literal sunshine. 

He slides on his glasses and tries to fix his messy hair, and I grab his gifts and go to the bed with them. 

"I got these for you" I say and hand him both of them. 

"Oooh, a knife, I feel much safer, how fancy. Also a watercolour sketchbook, very thoughtful, and A Rush of Blood to the Head on tape, for the tape player I don't have... What's next, an 8track?" He says, with his raspy morning voice- fresh out of sleep and he's making jokes. 

"The knife is for when I'm not with you, otherwise I've got you, always. The whatever it is sketchbook is cause you always complain about not having your art supplies here, and if you wanna leave that here, you can, and I'll start buying you more till you have one fourth of the art supplies at your apartment and we should be fine... And that's a pretty good tape to make out to, and my car is a really good car to make out in, and my car happens to have a tape player, so if the boot fits..." I say and finish with a shrug and he laughs and buries his face in the crook of my shoulder. 

"You're cute when you're hinting at the obvious. You're also cute when you're thoughtful, and these gifts are very thoughtful, I love them, and I love you. Thank you" he says and I nod and give him a kiss. 

"You need to get dressed, today starts finals, and this is the last week and a half of finals in my entire life, so it's kind of a big deal that I'm at school on time so I can get this shit done and graduate" I say and he gives me a sad look. 

"You're leaving school and I still have a year" he says. 

"Sam is starting though" I suggest. 

"Okay, great, I'll fuck your brother then, for convenience sake, cause he's starting in my school" he says nonchalantly and I laugh. 

"I'll still pick you up from school, and you still get to stay over whenever you want" I assure. 

"But who will I skip with, who will make out with me behind the benches and blow on my hands in the fall during the football games to keep me warm and who will I get to pass in the hallways and be gay with?" He pouts. 

"Sam wouldn't skip school for remotely anything- otherwise I would suggest him... I don't know about the other stuff either, I guess you're going to have to find a young model to replace me" I say and he slaps my arm. 

"I'm going to be so lonely" he complains. 

"No you're not, you have Sam, this will be good time you guys can spend to get to know each other, not just as 'Dean's boyfriend' or 'Dean's little brother,' it's 'Sam and Cas' now, and you're my guy on the inside, I need you to keep him safe, be his ally, cause I'm not going to be just across the grass from him anymore, and that gives me hell of anxiety, but I trust you, and even though they're not allowed, you have a knife now" I say and point to his new knife and he softens. 

"I guess you're right, he's like a mini you, except he actually thinks with his head and not with his dick, and he's got nicer hair" he says nonchalantly and I roll my eyes and push him over. 

"Yeah... we're so late" I mutter and all the blood drains from his face. 

"Let's go then bastard!" He yells and jumps out of bed butt naked scrambling for clothes and trying to fix his hair while tying his shoes and putting his things in his backpack and I just watch and smile at my little catastrophe. 

"Sammy, education time" I say as I walk through the kitchen. 

"The best time" he says and I mock gag and he throws a napkin at me. 

"Cas your fly is down" Sam says as Cas flies in the room, disheveled and still not awake. 

He blushes a bright pink and fixes it as we walk out the door and I grab my sunglasses and lock up. 

"Sam do you bring knives to school?" Cas asks as we get in the car. 

"Yeah, why?" Sam shrugs. 

"Well what happens if you get caught?" Cas continues. 

"I don't?" Sam questions. 

"How!?" Cas asks in amazement. 

"Sorry I'm not one for backflips in the middle of math class where my knives will fall out of my pocket mid air" Sam says sarcastically. 

"The sass on this kid" Cas mutters to me and Sam smiles. 

"Well I got this knife from Dean and I want to start taking it to school because you guys do, and even though I'm not in the habit of doing backflips in math class either, I still feel like someone is gonna see it or I'll accidentally drop it and then we'll suddenly have a bomb threat and be evacuated during school and it'll be my fault cause I brought a knife to school" Cas spiels. 

"Well don't be an idiot with it, Cas" Sam says simply. 

"That sounds terrific I should have asked sooner" Cas says sarcastically and Sam leans over to me and says "the sass on this kid" and we all can't help but laugh. 

"Sam's right, just don't be an idiot with it, keep it strapped keep it buckled and keep it covered, don't lift your arms too high or reach for something low, worse comes to worst you can always get those sexy garter straps for knives like women have in spy movies and not worry about it altogether" I say and joke at the end. 

"A knife strapped to my leg, sounds risky. I think I'll just keep it in my front pocket" he says and slides it in his front pocket.

"It's real silver" I say and he finally opens the knife fully to reveal the engraved heart and letter C and he fawns and gives me a kiss on the cheek from the back seat. 

"A cute killing device" he says with a grin. 

\-----------

Graduation comes and goes, dad not showing up unsurprisingly, but uncle bobby calling to congratulate me and of course Sam and Cas being supportive of me. 

I didn't wear the dress, which upset the school, I just marched up on stage with my usual- leather jacket flannel and jeans, but I still wore the cap and shielded myself from all pictures except Cas' Polaroid. 

After graduation I don't know what to do with myself, I know I gained a few pounds from eating out of boredom, but my two best friends are still in that stupid school for another year and four years and I have nothing to do. 

I clean the whole house, re-organise my vinyl, first by year then alphabetically, I go grocery shopping, mow the lawn, learn a bunch of new songs on guitar, wash the car four times a week, try to read a book, and text both Cas and Sam a million times each, but get short replies or nothing at all cause they're good kids and decent in school. 

I visit mom a lot, telling her all about Cas and how Sammy started high school and what dad's been up to, and obviously she never replies, but it's nice to be with her. 

I go to the school an hour early every day to pick them up, just so I can get a parking spot right in front, that's at least what I tell myself. 

Sometimes I drive by to see them having lunch together, and they always see me and yell things at me, but with nothing else on my agenda, it seems like a justifiable thing to do. 

"You should get a job" Sam says. 

"Stripper" Cas suggests. 

"Shut up both of you" I say as they slide into their seats. 

"Buckle young man" I say and they both do. 

"I was joking..." I say. 

"Safety first" Cas shrugs, so we drive to the ice cream place with two buckled passengers. 

"Dean stop buying us food just cause you've gained weight" Sam says as I put the four bags of fries and shakes on the seat. 

"Shut up I have not" I defend and Cas laughs from the back. 

"Your boredom chunk is cute" he says and I make a mental note to go to the gym when I'm bored instead of eat. 

"You really think I should get a job? I don't really submit to authority unless it's dad" I say to Sam. 

"Your dad would have a lot of respect for you if you became a stripper" Cas says with a mouth full of fries. 

"Fuck off Cas not helping" I say and he rolls his eyes. 

"So get a job that you think you'll really like, and that will motivate you not to want to bail cause of a boss" Sam suggests. 

"Mechanic?" Cas offers. 

"Possibly" Sam says. 

"Beer tester?" Cas continues. 

"Perfect fit for this teenage alcoholic" Sam jokes. 

"You guys are ridiculous" I say with a smile cause I knew with me out of the way they would get to know each other better and ultimately be good friends. 

\-----------

The next day when I pick up my boys from school, Cas has a black eye and Sam has a busted lip. 

"Who did this?" I rage. 

"He just heard someone saying bad things about you and me, and jumped in a little too soon" Cas says as he hands Sam a napkin. 

"Who cares what other people say?! Since when have you needed other people's acceptance, Sam?" I demand. 

"He was talking shit about you and Cas and I couldn't just listen, so I broke his nose and his buddy busted my lip" Sam admits. 

"First of all, I'm proud of you for breaking someone's nose, but don't do it on my behalf, if they've got crap to say, they can say it to me and I will defend myself, but if you come home with a busted lip over some immature dickbag, it's not worth it" I say to Sam and he hangs his head. 

"Cas beat the tar out of the guy that busted my lip, so he's suspended for a week" Sam mentions. 

"Piece of cake" Cas says with a shrug and puts his hand on my shoulder. 

"Well tell me who it is so I can take care of them for you?" I ask. 

"Benny Marcus, he is a homophobic ass" Sam says. 

"Alright, you will go to school tomorrow, and Cas will stay home. I'll find Benny after school and give him a piece of my mind" I declare and Sam leaves it at that. 

"Otherwise, how was school?" I ask. 

"Fine" Sam says and Cas nods. 

"What do you guys wanna do today?" I offer. 

"Go home and do homework and maybe go to sleep" Sam answers. 

"Same" Cas agrees. 

"Nothing fun you wanna do?" I ask them both. 

"Nope" Sam says and Cas nods again. 

"Alright, home it is" I say and drive straight home. 

\-----------

"Thank you for jumping in with Sam" I say and hold Cas extra tight as we lay in my bed. 

"I didn't even think it through, I just saw him get punched and decked him in the face and kicked the living shit out of the guy who did it... I saw red" he says. 

"Instinct, Cas. I told you when I left school and you and Sam were together more you guys would get closer" I remind. 

"You don't think I would have done the same thing a few months ago, even before you left school?" Cas asks. 

"Well, I don't know. You and Sam talked and joked but it didn't seem like there was anything between you besides mutually knowing me" I say with a shrug. 

"We've talked and stuff, you know I have his number right? And that time we were broken up? He called me every day to see how I was doing, and when I stopped replying- that's when he told you that you needed to come, and he promised me you would, cause you still loved me, and you did, and I trusted him. You guys both mean so much to me, but you just a little more" Cas says and I blink away the tears that welled up when he talked about Sam checking on him. 

"He really did that?" I ask. 

"Every day" he confirms. 

"I'm so proud of him" I whisper. 

"Me too, every day" Cas agrees. 

"Today when he broke that guys nose, I had no problem taking the blame for it, even though the whole school saw it, and I had no problem getting suspended, cause it was for him, and the whole damn thing started just because he heard someone say something bad about us" Cas admits. 

"You're my hero" I say in a high voice and cover his face in kisses. 

"You raised him well, Dean. I know John wasn't around then cause he isn't around now, and I believe fully that you raised him, and I can't believe what an outstanding job you've done" he says. 

"Are you kissing my ass so I'll fuck you?" I stop and ask with a smirk. 

"I'm not kidding, Dean!" Cas says frustratedly and I laugh and bury myself in his warmth. 

"I get it, Cas, thanks" I say and he nods. 

\------------

The week that Cas is suspended from school, after we drop off Sam each day we accomplish various things around the house and such. 

Getting more art supplies for my room for Cas, buying more Polaroid film for Cas, having sex on the kitchen table, watching the Star Wars movies from episode 1 to episode 7 in chronological order, buying and building a new dresser for Cas' clothes in my room, and making lunch for Sam every day. 

As we drop off Sam on Friday which is also Cas' last suspension day, Cas asks me  
"I feel like we've been so productive these past few days, but I have to go back to school come Monday, so what should we do today to end my suspension week with a bang?"

"We could bang?" I say with a smirk and he laughs. 

"We do that all the time you horny bastard. I was saying something that we haven't done before and can't do after I go back to school" he says. 

"Go to a record store? Buy Sam a new backpack? Go to Missouri's? I don't know, Cas" I suggest openly. 

"I mean we could do record store any time, but with our lack of other ideas, let's do it, and then we can get Sam a backpack, but I'm still not going to Missouri's" he says firmly and I nod and drive to the nearest record store. 

"I feel like I'm in a friggin hipster movie" I say to Cas as I walk in. 

"Shut up" he says and walks past me. 

I flick through the vinyls, trying to think of something I don't have but need... 

"Hey loser, you pick one for me I'll pick one for you" I shout across he store to Cas and he smiles and nods. 

I go to the indie-est kid I can find and ask her to recommend something to me for my boyfriend, and she gives me something from The Smiths, and I think he'll love it. 

I check out and wait by the door with my back turned, so I don't see what he's getting for me. 

When he comes and he's got the vinyl in the same paper bag, we both go outside and sit on the bench and exchange vinyls. 

"On three... One, two, three!" Cas says and on three we tear the packages open. 

He smiles gleefully at The Smiths album, and I grin at the Blue Öyster Cult album he got me, which I didn't even think about not having. 

"Perfect" I say and he nods. 

"Backpacks at the camp supply store" I tell him as I get up and head to the car. 

I open his door and then walk to my side and get in to go to the camp supply store. 

When we get there, Cas rolls his eyes and wrinkles his nose in disgust at the mini taxidermy museum they have on display and I smile because he's so cute. 

We go to the backpacks and find one for Sam after much consideration, and then check ammo prices, and I text them to my dad and we go to pay for the backpack. 

Cas was a little touchy feely to me in front of the woman cashier, which bothered her, but he definitely did it more on purpose once he knew it bothered her. 

"Have a nice day" she muttered. 

"Have a nice gay? I do!" Cas says and kisses my cheek. 

She turns around, horrified, and Cas laughs his ass off walking out of the store. 

"Ah, I love people" Cas sighs with a smile. 

"I should have grabbed your ass" he jokes and I roll my eyes as we get in the car. 

"To pick up the child at school" I say and he nods and we go to the high school. 

\-----------

As the weeks go by, Sam & Cas get closer, going out to the library or the museum or to visit colleges, Sam teaches Cas about hunting life and lore, and Cas teaches Sam about art and who the greats are and what the pieces mean and I love nothing more than seeing my two favourite people get close. 

All three of us sit in the living room, Cas upside-down in my lap and Sam by my feet on the couch, and me and Sam quiz Cas on hunting things just to teach him, and it's a different experience for me being around someone who doesn't know this stuff. 

"How do you kill a werewolf?" Sam asks. 

"Silver?" Cas half asks half answers. 

"Bingo" I say and he smiles. 

"How about a banshee?" Sam adds. 

"That's gold then, right?" Cas says. 

"Right again" I confirm and he smiles. 

"If someone is being hexed?" I ask. 

"Find the bag thing and find a way to bust it up, like shooting it or setting it on fire" Cas says with a confident nod. 

"Good" Sam says and gives him a high five. 

"How to summon a crossroads demon?" I ask. 

"Wait, woah woah woah, you don't need to teach him that" Sam interjects. 

"Why not, it may come in handy?" I ask. 

"Making a deal with the devil for your soul, how's that handy?" Sam argues. 

"When a man is desperate, that doesn't really matter, Sammy. I am just telling him so if he gets to a point where he's desperate... He's not completely out of options" I supply. 

"Again, Dean, his soul! Desperate is different than suicidal. That option shouldn't be for anyone cause it's a curse, not a deal" Sam says, clearly upset. 

"Alright man, I won't tell him" I say and raise my arms in surrender just as he starts to get up. 

"Jeesh slow down" I say and grab Sam's arm. 

"Don't give him a reason to sell his soul. Don't be selfish, because If anything happens, Cas is not the one bringing you back. I am" Sam demands, and my heart breaks. 

"I'm not planning on dying anytime soon Sam! That's not what I meant! Sam!" I shout as he goes to his room, walking aggressively, so I know he's trying not to cry. 

"Bring you back?" Cas asks. 

"It's... It's my dad. After my mom died he went every year on the anniversary of her death to try and make a deal with a demon to bring her back, and it never worked, because she was different, but he still tried. Dad said if either one of us dies any time soon, the other shouldn't hesitate to make a deal with a demon, and worry later about breaking the deal" I say. 

"Okay and...?" Cas continues. 

"And Sam thinks I'm telling you how to make a deal with a demon in case I die, and he thinks that you would be the one to make the deal instead of him just cause I was going to tell you" I explain. 

"Who's gonna go talk to him?" Cas asks and it really could go either way. 

"We can both?" I suggest and he nods and I walk with him to Sam's room. 

As soon as i open the door, a bunch of suction cup arrows come flying at us and I roll my eyes at his booby trapped door. 

"Sam" Cas says softly. 

"What?" He sniffles, his back turned to us and a Radiohead album blasting makes him hard to hear. 

Cas turns it down as I sit on the edge of the bed. 

"Sammy, I never, ever said that Cas would replace you, or take your job. Cas isn't my brother, but you are. I wanted to teach him about the crossroads because he might need it one day for wherever his life takes him, you know, like his family" I try and explain. 

"I never want to take your place, Sam, what you and Dean have is more special than anything. You're not used to not having Dean's undivided attention, and I understand cause he's all you got. I'm not here to screw it up, so what you say goes" Cas says and Sam still lays looking at the wall. 

"It's just hard sharing, but Cas, you know I love you and I wouldn't want Dean with anyone else, it's just like you said, I'm not used to it, so I'm acting like a pouty baby" he admits. 

"Well it's alright" Cas assures. 

\----------- 

"Hey Dean, I want you to meet someone" Cas says to me on the way to school. 

"Sure, who?" I ask. 

"Her name is Meg, she's a new friend, she's hilarious" Cas says and I nod. 

"She's like, the female version of you, sex jokes and all" Sam says and Cas grins. 

"You know her too?" I ask Sam. 

"She's a junior, you might've known her as a sophomore before you left" Sam says. 

"We'll find out. How long have you been hanging with her?" I ask. 

"She had lunch with me the week Cas was suspended for the fight, and I introduced them when he got off suspension, cause she wanted to personally thank Cas for beating the hell out of that asshole dude, cause apparently she's had a lot of problems with him too and if she got into a fight with him again she'd get expelled" Sam replies. 

"Yeah she was really fired up about me kicking his ass, and she's in a few of my classes so we get along well" Cas adds. 

"Well she sounds like a charm, maybe we all catch a movie and get a bite after school?" I ask. 

"Sounds good, she likes horror" Sam says with a grin. 

"She also likes chick flicks" Cas says, winking. 

"Dean you can go see a chick flick with her while Cas and I go see a sci-fi movie" Sam teases. 

"Shut up" I say and smack his leg. 

"Go get smart you two, stay out of trouble unless trouble finds you first" I say and they both slide out, Cas coming to kiss me before he takes off with Sam into the school. 

Later I pick up the boys, and their friend Meg. 

"Meg this is my brother, and Cas' boyfriend, Dean" Sam says as he slides in the front seat. 

"Dean this is Meg" Sam adds and she slides in the back right after Cas. 

"Sweet ride" she says with a deep, almost seductive voice. 

"Thanks, I agree, Cas is a sweet ride, oh, and the car too" I say with a grin and her cute roundish face grows into a big smile. 

"See I told you he's got sex jokes" Sam says and she laughs. 

"What movie are we seeing?" I ask them. 

"Anything" she says with a shrug. 

"No chick flicks" Sam demands. 

"Cas?" I ask. 

"Anything you want" he says with a smile. 

"Don't encourage him, Cas, then we'll be watching Jennifer Lopez falling in love with some guy who's not as good for her as the other guy and it'll be all dramatic and he'll complain and bitch about it for a whole week about how she was better off with the other guy, and you'll get tired of it the second day" Sam explains and I roll my eyes. 

"I honestly wouldn't be bothered by that" Cas says with a shrug. 

"No really, you would cause..." Sam begins, but before he can continue, I'm turning up the Nirvana tape in my radio and tuning him out. 

When we get to the theater, we all decide on some random movie and get snacks and get in, noticing the theater is empty except for us. 

"Wanna make out?" I ask excitedly and Cas wastes no time grabbing my jaw and sitting on my lap, neither of us paying attention as the movie starts. 

"Do they do that a lot?" Meg asks Sam from a few rows down.

"All. The. Time." Sam replies and Cas smiles on my lips. 

Cas flashes them the middle finger without taking his lips on mine which makes them both laugh but turn back around to watch the movie. 

\-------

After the movie we go get food at an authentic Italian place Meg recommended, and I thoroughly enjoy it. 

"You two meet at school?" Meg asks and points at me and Cas. 

"Yep, he's the only person that would talk to me... And he eye fucked me a lot so I knew the feeling was mutual" Cas says. 

"He was like a lost puppy. No matter what rumors he heard about me, that I was no good, he still asked to sit at lunch with me and Sam, and we took off from there" I say and Cas holds my hand under the table. 

"Cas balances us out, cause Dean is all sarcasm and eats a lot and the sex jokes of course, whereas I am the brains, I like books, art, studying, being healthy, and Cas is kind of both, with a little indie side, Polaroids and art and bands you've never heard of and converse-with-a-jean-jacket kind of shogaze kid, so he's a very vital part of this occasion, and hey, now we have a girl" Sam says and Meg smiles. 

"Well I guess I'm the bitch then, I like classic rock and playing with fire and insulting adults, but I am handy with stick shift and love me a corny telenovela" she says with her cool voice and a certain type of swagger. 

"You fit right in" Cas says with a nod. 

"We could use about two more girls though, just to even it out" Sam says with a shrug. 

"Got anyone in mind?" I say with a grin and he blushes red.

"Aw, tell me Sammy!" I tease and he looks away and tries so hard not to blush or smile. 

"There's this girl, Ruby, she's cute, she's a freshman too" Sam says. 

"Ruby is my girlfriends neighbour, I hang out with her all the time!" Meg exclaims. 

"You got the hookup" I say with a grin. 

"I'll introduce you two, and she's fun so I'm sure there's room for her in this party" Meg says with a smile and Sam nods shyly. 

"You should bring your girlfriend next time" Cas tells Meg. 

"Sure, Charlie would love you guys" Meg nods. 

"You hang out with Ruby? Isn't she like 14?" I ask Meg. 

"How old is Sam?" She asks with a smirk. 

"That's different, he's my brother, and he's mature" I defend. 

"You think Sam would like her if she wasn't mature? Let's be honest, the only reason he hangs out with you is because you're his brother" Meg says. 

"She's right, if you weren't my brother I would think you were a uneducated sex addict douche bag" Sam says with a shrug.

"Wow. I really feel the love, Sammy" I say sarcastically. 

"Well I admit, I wouldn't be dating you if Sam wasn't your brother because I couldn't handle you without him, he's my go between" Cas jokes and I give him the stink eye. 

"Just kidding, I love you" he says and pecks my cheek. 

\---------

"Do you think.. maybe I... I should tone it down on the smartness? I mean I don't wanna sound like a freak to her" Sam asks as he nervously waits for Meg, Charlie, and Ruby to arrive. 

"Sam, you don't need to change who you are for her, if she's good enough, she will like you how you are, not for you acting like you're stupid" I say to him. 

"Don't be embarrassed of your smartness, it defines you and I think some girls really like smart guys" Cas adds and Sam nods. 

"We're just hanging out for a few hours, you can chill dude" I say and he ignores me and walks around the living room spinning his handgun like a cowboy. 

"Ok you might want to tone down the hunter vibe though" Cas says and takes the gun away from Sam and hides the few others that are around. 

"Shouldn't you get some of those cardboard, flavour-less snacks out?" I ask. 

"Right. Snacks. And hey they have flavour, just not to you cause they're healthy and not pumped with gross shit" he says and goes to the kitchen to get whatever snack. 

"Meg said they're five minutes away" Cas says as he puts his phone on the coffee table. 

"Are you cleaning? Damn it Sam, get in here and sit down!" I exclaim as he sweeps the kitchen for the third time.

"I'm sorry I'm just. I'm horrible with girls" he sighs. 

"You're 14, you're suppose to be horrible with girls, but you're also mentally 25 so just play it cool and you'll be fine" I say. 

"If mentally he's 25 should I be dating him instead? Cause mentally you're 13" Cas whispers as he lays in my lap on the couch. 

"Shut up you're like 12" I say and toss his hair. 

"Sam get me a beer" I say and he hops up right away. 

As soon as he brings it back, the bell rings, and he turns pale.

"That would be the door..." I mention. 

Sam gulps nervously and says "Cas can get it."

"Cas doesn't even live here" I say. 

"Bullshit" Sam says, eyes still locked on the door and nervousness on his face. 

"He's right, I basically do live here, I'll get it" Cas says with a shrug and pecks my lips quickly before getting up and going to the door. 

"Go greet them you shy son of a bitch" I whisper. 

"Jerk" he mutters and goes to greet them. 

"Dean, this is Charlie, my girlfriend, and this is my friend Ruby" Meg says as they walk in. 

Ruby is 14, so I don't look at her in any other way than Sam's potential girlfriend, but I admire his crush for her.   
She has dark hair, fair skin and pretty eyes, and a brightly devilish look in her eyes for being so young. 

Charlie is a charming red-head, looks kinda dorky but cute as well, and is shyly attached to Meg's side. 

"Hey Dean" Ruby greets with a small wave. 

"Hi" Charlie says shyly. 

"Charlie and Ruby, this is my boyfriend Cas, but you probably know him from school, and also my little brother, Sam" I say and they all exchange greetings. 

"Sit down ladies make yourselves at home, for the adults there is beer, for the youngins there is iced tea" I say and Ruby blushes. 

"That's basically just me and you" Sam says and Ruby nods with a smile. 

"Before you got here we were just arguing about what movie to watch on netflix" Cas lies as he turns on the tv to break the silence. 

"Hey, Ruby, what's your favourite movie?" Sam asks and Cas grins at me. 

"Uh, maybe The Breakfast Club" she replies. 

"That's actually a good one, we could watch that" Cas shrugs. 

"You indie little piece of shit" I whisper and kiss his neck. 

"Your indie little piece of shit" he whispers back and kisses me with a smile on his lips. 

"Speak now or forever hold your peace" Cas says and everyone is silent. 

"Alright then, Breakfast Club it is" Cas decides and presses play.

"We're watching a movie and you didn't even make popcorn?" Meg asks. 

"Sam" I mutter. 

"I can help" Ruby offers and jumps up quickly to go to the kitchen with him. 

As soon as the kitchen door swings shut Meg claps. 

"Ok so they're in the kitchen together, that's good" Cas says. 

"This is so entertaining how you guys are so excited about them" Charlie laughs. 

"He really likes her... while you guys were on your way here, he was nervous cleaning, pacing, and he turned pale as soon as he heard you ring the bell" I say and both Meg & Charlie fawn. 

"Hey I bet if they come back and we're both making out, maybe they'll just go to Sam's room and hang out and get to know each other better" Cas suggests. 

"Their reaction would be priceless, oh my god, lets do it" Meg beams. 

"I would make out with you during the movie even if it wasn't part of the plan to get Sam and Ruby together" I say to Cas. 

"That's comforting" he replies with a grin and we waste no time locking lips and bodies on the couch. 

The tv is on a low volume as Sam & Ruby start to come back in, and I can see out of the corner of my eye both of them freezing and then turning around and retreating back through the kitchen and hopefully to Sam's or my room. 

"It worked!" Meg giggles as Charlie gets off of her lap. 

"I ain't movin" Cas says to me. 

"Good" I reply. 

"We're still gonna watch the movie, right?" Cas asks cutely. 

"Sure" I say and grab the remote and turn it up a few notches.

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End file.
